Saturday, November 1, 2008

Voting!

Gentle readers:

First, we have two new flat travelers to introduce: "Neutral Flat Nobama Nomccain Dayton Flyer not Straight Talk Express but a Plane Because of Dayton's Rich Aviation History" and "Flat Obama."

The first is a contribution of Caleb and Matthew; the second a contribution from Mom. (The blogger appreciates the ease with which the latter flat cousin's name can be thumbed on a blackberry, especially compared to the former.)

The second bit of news is that all 5 of the flat travelers helped Uncle Jon vote today. Emotions ran high and not surprisingly, there were a number of disagreements.

Flat Rocket suggested I abstain because neither ticket will invest enough in NASA. The rocket said it was disappointed by the lack of space-based leadership and leaked drops of oil from its windshield as it told me it might never see its dream of flying to Mars.

Flat Pharoah said he just didn't understand why we need elections at all. "There's something so wonderful about absolute power," he said. "Monarchies work out so nicely for the royalty."

Flat Obama's suggestion isn't hard to guess. He also suggested I use a ball point pen to mark the ballot. Then he suggested inkjet instead of ball point. Then he suggested a Sharpe instead of inkjet. When asked about the changes he said, "Change! Change is what we need, and change is coming!" When pressed, he said, "America can hope again." Stymied, the blogger stopped asking questions.

Neutral Flat Nobama Nomccain Dayton Flyer not Straight Talk Express but a Plane Because of Dayton's Rich Aviation History told me the most patriotic thing to do would be to vote for both candidates, thereby ensuring I vote for a historic ticket no matter who wins. When this confused voter suggested that might invalidate the ballot, the flat traveler kindly told me to go to hell. Asked where he learned such language he said, "Aunt Kak."

Flat Nobama Baby Doll's suggestion isn't hard to guess either. When questioned about Governor Palin's relative newness on the political scene, she said, "She can see Russia from her house!" Asked why that mattered, she winked and said, "let me get back atcha.". The blogger stopped asking questions.

6 comments:

katharine said...

This is HYSTERICAL! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a blog before! Love you!

Sarah said...

how much spare time does thee have???
-dan

katharine said...

PS I re-read this blog, and "leaking drops of oil from its windshield" makes me sad! I realized that Flat Rocket was crying! :)

Kitty said...

flat plane from Dayton needs to shorten his name if he's going to be on the campaign trail. All people of importance don't have time to write a name 150 characters long!
Actually, flat Obama isn't called that at all, but rather flat Bob Ama; flat Bob for short.
Originally there was some more commentary on his portrait (that I thought was quite clever, but Uncle Jonny didn't even get!)but that will have to wait until after the election to go on the blog.

Kitty said...

Jonny, I love thy account of voting! Who knew it could be so difficult?

Sarah said...

Yeah this was really funny. Jonny, thee has a real knack for funny commentary!!!